Death beds

I often meet people on their deathbeds. Some are clear as a summer day, some are hallucinating and pulling at every hair on their body, and some yet are lethargic and gurgling their own secretions. Its still important that i am there. Somtimes it is to educate the family, the patient, the doctor, or the nurse. Sometimes it is time for me to say that it is not safe for them to eat by mouth any more.

I have had quite the variety of patients in my past 4 years of working strictly in hospitals. I have had to deliver a lot of difficult news. But sometimes. . . I am the person that brings them that little bit of hope, or understanding, or ability that they need.

One patient that I remember dearly that had extensive cancer taking over his body was so excited that he found out I was Miss Black City 2007. His friend that was visiting was apparently Miss Black Rock City at another point and time and there my friend sat. . beaming up at the both of us, holding our hands, exclaiming that he is sitting BETWEEN TWO CHAMPIONS!!! He was glowing, he was smiling, he was laughing. It was a beautiful moment for him. He was so genuinely pleased.

Sometimes people just need to understand the "why." Sometimes understanding why medical personal are recommending a, b, or c. . . or specifically why I am the bad guy telling you, you cant have any regular liquids. . . sometimes "why" makes all the difference.

It is so important to honestly educate your patients, your staff, your families. It is so important to not get discouraged, frustrated, or angry with multiple egos fighting over what should be done for the pt . . . what would be best. There is so much short-sightedness. . so much ignorance. . . so much ego. I strive really hard to be above that. To not just get ragingly pissed off when doctors are purposely sabotaging my patients. . . and for the most part. . . i work it out. . . but when i cant i have found solace in knowing that I can only do what I can do.

If we spend each day trying to do our best, genuinely trying to do your best. . while being honest at the same time. . . good things will move forward.

-=ali*

Kaleidoscope NYC!!!

Hello folks~

I want to thank everyone involved for all of their help making such a beautiful event flourish into a reality that we all could revel in.

Thank you for support, your ideas, for helping spread the word, and for manifesting such good thoughts and energy that lead to a memorable and lovely evening.

Hooray for everyone making such a kaleidoscope of presence.
xoxoxoxo
-=ali*

------------------------------

I wanted to let you know that a very friendly beautiful street party occurred this past saturday on 8/16 that went for 5 hours all the way through Battery Park at sunset with huge 20 foot flags, the SI Ferry back and forth, and through brooklyn where aerial silks were performed on the street and a lengthy fire performance also persued as a grand finale.

Everyone was dressed up, had instruments and rocked out to make for a righteous and a celebratory event.

It was called Kaleidoscope

http://www.kineticfaction.com/

flickr search Kaleidoscope nyc for some pics

i found some here too
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gi8MjQpzTq4
http://www.flickr.com/photos/44575143@N00/sets/72157606822525987/
http://picasaweb.google.com/brutuslove/KaleidoscopeUnicornStyle?authkey=iqVzDiCIahohttp://picasaweb.google.com/STFUKatielady/KaleidoscopeSequencehttp://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=657950507#/album.php?aid=150419&id=657950507&ref=mf (u need a facebook acct)mailto:23102714@N07/
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=657950507#/photo_search.php?oid=29892533689&view=all

Yay**

3 fold

My life is like working 3 full-time jobs.

1 as a speech-language pathologist in the largest trauma center in Manhattan
2 Helping get Kaleidoscope off the ground http://www.kineticfaction.com/
3 performing (stilting, hula hoop dancing, fire, go-go, fashion shows, etc)

Its amazing, and exhausting, and energizing all at the same time. I barely have time to eat, or sleep, or have sex. . .i run myself into the ground. Im working on finding balance. . .on chilling out in the only ways I can. In finding more time for those special people around me and for my special self.

Sometimes the entire world is at hand and you have to seize what it gives you. . .other times you have to push it away.

I have to say Im stoked for tonight though. Im performing at the Bust Magazine 15 Year Anniversary party which Amy Sedaris is MC'ing. It should be amazingly fun. . .and who knows. . .perhaps we will be in print. That would be AWESOMESAUCE** Yay****

So when the world has you pinned ... know that its okay to sit there for a second and take it all in. . . and when you find yourself in over your head. .. know that it is yourself who got you there. . .and you wouldnt be there if you couldnt handle it.

Much love and light and city.

oxoxxoxo

-=ali*

aching

for a little respite, for a litte relief

for a short-term vacation

for long-term beliefs


the world is spinning us all upside down on our heads

and id rather be traveling but im working instead


i make the world brighter

i play as hard as i can

but in the end my loans and rent are at hand


if i subletted my apt

for more than i pay

i could quite my job

and sail the bay


pay my loans with the extra around

and get the fuck

right out of town


but i love nyc

and i love the life

and its silly to bitch and act like there's strife


working is working

and im lazy it seems

but ill work through it and continue to beam


but weekend get-a-ways are essential

until i can take a trip more monumental


Hawaii perhaps when winter comes round

and Bali too

if the funds can be found.



cheers and travel and building new**


much less slacking for me and for you.


oxoxoxxo



-=ali*

Night walk through Brooklyn

Fresh glisten of broken glass
marks one more stereo for the hood

Ice cream truck plays sweet
children's siren songs
past dark plus bass lines
as parentless youth
run for their fix

The droning crosswalk sign
blinks on the distance
Bringing into focus
my shadow looking back at me
Each detail to a T
hair flipped out Patty Duke style
staring back at me from the
gum stain splattered sidewalk

summer breeze

Cool breezes sneak under one-hundred year old concrete as it absorbs the sun rays from 146 million km away. I make my way gently and serenely, gliding from shadow to shadow.

A beautiful summer day in a city that slaves around the clock. I hope I am not the only one to take notice and enjoy it for the time being. Floral bouquets line shop windows, blades of grass sneak through slabs of concrete to reach out to the universe around it. Roots grip tight to hidden gravestones and non-decomposing goods from the early 20th century, which added miles to Manhattan.

Store fronts are swept and hosed down each morning to wash away the urine and excretions of humans and their pets from the full 24 hours before. I always know when Im late because the flower shop on University place is already cleaned up and ready to go . . .by the time I should be at work.

Coffee brewed by the cup by groovy californian espresso-master creates smiles and eye opening to all of the people who took the time to duck into the 4 square feet of customer space on 7th street. Sweet little thing, frothy and delecious, perks up my taste buds and my morning.

Breathe in breezy breaths
for a moment that doesn taste the taint of pollution
only the cool refreshment of past summer rain

The experience washes away the gruesome ending of last night where the 1/4inch side tip of my finger was ripped from my hand.

sauntering into work 2.5 hours late to deal with the pain and the clotting has made a genuine improvement to my day.

Cheers and wellness folks.

-=ali*

Tired little fingers

So i ve been type type typing away entering artists onto a database for Figment 2008 which will be an amazing three day art event out on Governor's Island ( the lil abandoned ex military base between manhattan and brooklyn) the last weekend in June 6/27, 6/28, and 6/29.

I am currently their Performance Curator and it is definitely one of the largest creative responsibilities of my life. I have to say though I am so impressed by the multitude of people that donate a significant amount of their time to make Figment 2008 happen.

It will be a roller coaster of art, performance, installations, music, and amazingness**

Anyone in or around NYC should definitely come check it out, especially because it is totally FREE. Everyone is volunteering their time and talent. . no busking, no tips, no vending. Free cultural experience open to all ages.

It will be pretty spectacular**

YaY**

xooxxoxo

-=ali*