Friday, August 22, 2008

Death beds

I often meet people on their deathbeds. Some are clear as a summer day, some are hallucinating and pulling at every hair on their body, and some yet are lethargic and gurgling their own secretions. Its still important that i am there. Somtimes it is to educate the family, the patient, the doctor, or the nurse. Sometimes it is time for me to say that it is not safe for them to eat by mouth any more.

I have had quite the variety of patients in my past 4 years of working strictly in hospitals. I have had to deliver a lot of difficult news. But sometimes. . . I am the person that brings them that little bit of hope, or understanding, or ability that they need.

One patient that I remember dearly that had extensive cancer taking over his body was so excited that he found out I was Miss Black City 2007. His friend that was visiting was apparently Miss Black Rock City at another point and time and there my friend sat. . beaming up at the both of us, holding our hands, exclaiming that he is sitting BETWEEN TWO CHAMPIONS!!! He was glowing, he was smiling, he was laughing. It was a beautiful moment for him. He was so genuinely pleased.

Sometimes people just need to understand the "why." Sometimes understanding why medical personal are recommending a, b, or c. . . or specifically why I am the bad guy telling you, you cant have any regular liquids. . . sometimes "why" makes all the difference.

It is so important to honestly educate your patients, your staff, your families. It is so important to not get discouraged, frustrated, or angry with multiple egos fighting over what should be done for the pt . . . what would be best. There is so much short-sightedness. . so much ignorance. . . so much ego. I strive really hard to be above that. To not just get ragingly pissed off when doctors are purposely sabotaging my patients. . . and for the most part. . . i work it out. . . but when i cant i have found solace in knowing that I can only do what I can do.

If we spend each day trying to do our best, genuinely trying to do your best. . while being honest at the same time. . . good things will move forward.


Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Kaleidoscope NYC!!!

Hello folks~

I want to thank everyone involved for all of their help making such a beautiful event flourish into a reality that we all could revel in.

Thank you for support, your ideas, for helping spread the word, and for manifesting such good thoughts and energy that lead to a memorable and lovely evening.

Hooray for everyone making such a kaleidoscope of presence.


I wanted to let you know that a very friendly beautiful street party occurred this past saturday on 8/16 that went for 5 hours all the way through Battery Park at sunset with huge 20 foot flags, the SI Ferry back and forth, and through brooklyn where aerial silks were performed on the street and a lengthy fire performance also persued as a grand finale.

Everyone was dressed up, had instruments and rocked out to make for a righteous and a celebratory event.

It was called Kaleidoscope

flickr search Kaleidoscope nyc for some pics

i found some here too (u need a facebook acct)mailto:23102714@N07/


Tuesday, August 12, 2008

3 fold

My life is like working 3 full-time jobs.

1 as a speech-language pathologist in the largest trauma center in Manhattan
2 Helping get Kaleidoscope off the ground
3 performing (stilting, hula hoop dancing, fire, go-go, fashion shows, etc)

Its amazing, and exhausting, and energizing all at the same time. I barely have time to eat, or sleep, or have sex. . .i run myself into the ground. Im working on finding balance. . .on chilling out in the only ways I can. In finding more time for those special people around me and for my special self.

Sometimes the entire world is at hand and you have to seize what it gives you. . .other times you have to push it away.

I have to say Im stoked for tonight though. Im performing at the Bust Magazine 15 Year Anniversary party which Amy Sedaris is MC'ing. It should be amazingly fun. . .and who knows. . .perhaps we will be in print. That would be AWESOMESAUCE** Yay****

So when the world has you pinned ... know that its okay to sit there for a second and take it all in. . . and when you find yourself in over your head. .. know that it is yourself who got you there. . .and you wouldnt be there if you couldnt handle it.

Much love and light and city.