Friday, December 19, 2008

swimming in mucous

standing swaggering starry eyed and dizzy on the busy street corner stragling myself to work. The mucous mostly mistifies me mocking oxygen and taking its place.

Strategically stumbling slowly thru morning rush hour traffic, myself and my lovely chest cold drag ourselves to work.

opportunities pass unseen, promotions handed onward past me, i continue to show up and report for duty despite how fooey i feel.

sabatcles stain my future vision with travel in light of this morning commute.

spirtual enlightenment requires foreign shores of mist and beauty. yes how truely i feel.

may your work day be more savored than mine today.



Thursday, December 4, 2008

Trials and tribulations of a working professional and a techno fairy

what to do what to do when you cant do both at the same time or the latter doesnt pay enough to pay your loans.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

First Flurries

First flurries flutter freely from the sky. Buildings stand tall as the individual flakes float and fly in swirls down the streets.

Yay Winter!



Monday, November 17, 2008

Coconut. . is the answer

But what is the question you may ask. .. EVERYTHING.

I dont depend a lot on product. .. .but every winter since moving to the east coast I have always treated myself to the nicest facial moisturizer I can find. . to avoid my face becoming reptilian and peeling away from the dryness.

This year. . the product was 10.99 came in a jar of 16 ounces and is organic and natural. . It is virgin coconut oil!!

I use it in my hair like hair mud, i use it all over my body as lotion, i use it in my mac n cheese as a butter subsititute. I drink coconut water to feel refreshed and hydrated and it really is the best thing these days i have decided.

During WW II and still to this day in countries where necessary medical equipment is in short supply they use coconut water intravaneously.

"The researchers report that coconut water is high in potassium, chloride, and calcium, and might be indicated in situations calling for increases in these electrolytes. So even though money doesn't grow on trees, medical supplies sometimes do."

So if you are ever pondering the answer. . . know that perchance it truly is COCONUT!!


Wow I was walking to work today and the orange fall leaves on the ground were spray painted red. So cool.



Tuesday, September 9, 2008

-=ali*'s sunset hoop cruise

autumns return

on my way to work i coasted through two movie sets, spiraling leaves blown from trees, and an extraordinary wind storm.

I watched a taxi creep along side this girl trying to get to school . . . and continued to pester despite her swatting him away. I made up several stories to go along with this scenario one being that the driver pissed her off and that she jumped out of the car sans payment. Who knows.

It brought forth memories of shady taxi drivers that i have had to deal with in the past. You can never be too careful.

Regardless, the real point behind this post is that fall has started. The leaves are changing, the sun is hiding behind buildings hours earlier, and the slightest chill can be felt on the wind.

The autumnal season has begun.


Friday, August 22, 2008

Death beds

I often meet people on their deathbeds. Some are clear as a summer day, some are hallucinating and pulling at every hair on their body, and some yet are lethargic and gurgling their own secretions. Its still important that i am there. Somtimes it is to educate the family, the patient, the doctor, or the nurse. Sometimes it is time for me to say that it is not safe for them to eat by mouth any more.

I have had quite the variety of patients in my past 4 years of working strictly in hospitals. I have had to deliver a lot of difficult news. But sometimes. . . I am the person that brings them that little bit of hope, or understanding, or ability that they need.

One patient that I remember dearly that had extensive cancer taking over his body was so excited that he found out I was Miss Black City 2007. His friend that was visiting was apparently Miss Black Rock City at another point and time and there my friend sat. . beaming up at the both of us, holding our hands, exclaiming that he is sitting BETWEEN TWO CHAMPIONS!!! He was glowing, he was smiling, he was laughing. It was a beautiful moment for him. He was so genuinely pleased.

Sometimes people just need to understand the "why." Sometimes understanding why medical personal are recommending a, b, or c. . . or specifically why I am the bad guy telling you, you cant have any regular liquids. . . sometimes "why" makes all the difference.

It is so important to honestly educate your patients, your staff, your families. It is so important to not get discouraged, frustrated, or angry with multiple egos fighting over what should be done for the pt . . . what would be best. There is so much short-sightedness. . so much ignorance. . . so much ego. I strive really hard to be above that. To not just get ragingly pissed off when doctors are purposely sabotaging my patients. . . and for the most part. . . i work it out. . . but when i cant i have found solace in knowing that I can only do what I can do.

If we spend each day trying to do our best, genuinely trying to do your best. . while being honest at the same time. . . good things will move forward.


Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Kaleidoscope NYC!!!

Hello folks~

I want to thank everyone involved for all of their help making such a beautiful event flourish into a reality that we all could revel in.

Thank you for support, your ideas, for helping spread the word, and for manifesting such good thoughts and energy that lead to a memorable and lovely evening.

Hooray for everyone making such a kaleidoscope of presence.


I wanted to let you know that a very friendly beautiful street party occurred this past saturday on 8/16 that went for 5 hours all the way through Battery Park at sunset with huge 20 foot flags, the SI Ferry back and forth, and through brooklyn where aerial silks were performed on the street and a lengthy fire performance also persued as a grand finale.

Everyone was dressed up, had instruments and rocked out to make for a righteous and a celebratory event.

It was called Kaleidoscope

flickr search Kaleidoscope nyc for some pics

i found some here too (u need a facebook acct)mailto:23102714@N07/


Tuesday, August 12, 2008

3 fold

My life is like working 3 full-time jobs.

1 as a speech-language pathologist in the largest trauma center in Manhattan
2 Helping get Kaleidoscope off the ground
3 performing (stilting, hula hoop dancing, fire, go-go, fashion shows, etc)

Its amazing, and exhausting, and energizing all at the same time. I barely have time to eat, or sleep, or have sex. . .i run myself into the ground. Im working on finding balance. . .on chilling out in the only ways I can. In finding more time for those special people around me and for my special self.

Sometimes the entire world is at hand and you have to seize what it gives you. . .other times you have to push it away.

I have to say Im stoked for tonight though. Im performing at the Bust Magazine 15 Year Anniversary party which Amy Sedaris is MC'ing. It should be amazingly fun. . .and who knows. . .perhaps we will be in print. That would be AWESOMESAUCE** Yay****

So when the world has you pinned ... know that its okay to sit there for a second and take it all in. . . and when you find yourself in over your head. .. know that it is yourself who got you there. . .and you wouldnt be there if you couldnt handle it.

Much love and light and city.



Tuesday, July 15, 2008


for a little respite, for a litte relief

for a short-term vacation

for long-term beliefs

the world is spinning us all upside down on our heads

and id rather be traveling but im working instead

i make the world brighter

i play as hard as i can

but in the end my loans and rent are at hand

if i subletted my apt

for more than i pay

i could quite my job

and sail the bay

pay my loans with the extra around

and get the fuck

right out of town

but i love nyc

and i love the life

and its silly to bitch and act like there's strife

working is working

and im lazy it seems

but ill work through it and continue to beam

but weekend get-a-ways are essential

until i can take a trip more monumental

Hawaii perhaps when winter comes round

and Bali too

if the funds can be found.

cheers and travel and building new**

much less slacking for me and for you.



Thursday, June 12, 2008

Night walk through Brooklyn

Fresh glisten of broken glass
marks one more stereo for the hood

Ice cream truck plays sweet
children's siren songs
past dark plus bass lines
as parentless youth
run for their fix

The droning crosswalk sign
blinks on the distance
Bringing into focus
my shadow looking back at me
Each detail to a T
hair flipped out Patty Duke style
staring back at me from the
gum stain splattered sidewalk

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

summer breeze

Cool breezes sneak under one-hundred year old concrete as it absorbs the sun rays from 146 million km away. I make my way gently and serenely, gliding from shadow to shadow.

A beautiful summer day in a city that slaves around the clock. I hope I am not the only one to take notice and enjoy it for the time being. Floral bouquets line shop windows, blades of grass sneak through slabs of concrete to reach out to the universe around it. Roots grip tight to hidden gravestones and non-decomposing goods from the early 20th century, which added miles to Manhattan.

Store fronts are swept and hosed down each morning to wash away the urine and excretions of humans and their pets from the full 24 hours before. I always know when Im late because the flower shop on University place is already cleaned up and ready to go . . .by the time I should be at work.

Coffee brewed by the cup by groovy californian espresso-master creates smiles and eye opening to all of the people who took the time to duck into the 4 square feet of customer space on 7th street. Sweet little thing, frothy and delecious, perks up my taste buds and my morning.

Breathe in breezy breaths
for a moment that doesn taste the taint of pollution
only the cool refreshment of past summer rain

The experience washes away the gruesome ending of last night where the 1/4inch side tip of my finger was ripped from my hand.

sauntering into work 2.5 hours late to deal with the pain and the clotting has made a genuine improvement to my day.

Cheers and wellness folks.


Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Tired little fingers

So i ve been type type typing away entering artists onto a database for Figment 2008 which will be an amazing three day art event out on Governor's Island ( the lil abandoned ex military base between manhattan and brooklyn) the last weekend in June 6/27, 6/28, and 6/29.

I am currently their Performance Curator and it is definitely one of the largest creative responsibilities of my life. I have to say though I am so impressed by the multitude of people that donate a significant amount of their time to make Figment 2008 happen.

It will be a roller coaster of art, performance, installations, music, and amazingness**

Anyone in or around NYC should definitely come check it out, especially because it is totally FREE. Everyone is volunteering their time and talent. . no busking, no tips, no vending. Free cultural experience open to all ages.

It will be pretty spectacular**




Friday, June 6, 2008

Me and Mike D

Woot woot*

So I totally had a hula hoop gig last night that allowed me to meet Mike D** Yay* I am super exhausted though come now, 830 am, and a have a very full weekend a head of me. Sometimes life so so fun though that sleep takes second place***


The city left the lights out this am
with slight mist
to soften the feel

i made my way through the caverns of cement
and yielded to the wheel

the city sang of birds this a.m.
the road it shone with glory

Hula hoops and dance parades
and many other stories

My head did raise
my feet did walk
and i joined the day

but dreamland is waiting for me
and my mind is on its way

Eyes they burn
but if i didnt tell you you wouldnt know
and the day feels long
but only cause im moving slow

by the time i get anywhere safe to nap
it will be time to bump and grind
and bring the action back

so three concerts later
some time late tonight
or maybe even come early morn'
and with the break of tomorrows first light
is when my lil sleepy eyes
will finally get some rest
and for a short moment
ill finally have completed my quest.

much love and admiration folks~



Wednesday, June 4, 2008

I hate cancer

Truly truly do. I hate cancer so much. I am a SLP (speech-language pathologist) and I work acute care (i.e., people who are out of the ER but not well enough to go anywhere) and this includes head and neck cancer. . .and many other types of cancer actually as when disease strikes the body you lose your quickness in natural reflexes. . .which believe it or not folks. . .includes SWALLOWING** So, yes, I am a swallow specialist. . .that hates cancer.

It is difficult to watch so many of my patients fluctuate in their wellness. . . via the treatment to kill the cancer. It is hard to walk in a room and realize that my patient is dying, and to console their mother who does not want her 53 year old child to die before her, or to comfort the wife who is losing her husband, or to comfort the patient. . .who as long as they haven't gone into encephalopathy or the cancer hasnt spread to their brain yet . . . is all too aware of the situation at hand.

I will say it again. I hate cancer. I have seen xrays where masses engulf the esophagus and move it over to the shoulder blade and rip wholes in intestines and eat away the brain. I have seen mets to the bones that left one of my patients with over 48 fractures just from moving and walking around. I have had patients look me dead pan in the face as the contrast i give them comes out there nose and say, "This is Cancer."

We are not disillusioned; we are aware, I am disgustingly aware as my patients get younger and younger. I am nervous and I am worried. I am paranoid and have nightmares. . . because. . . i hate cancer.

When I was little my favorite finger was my pinky finger on my left hand. Weird, I know, but true. Then one day I got thrown off a wild-boar-hunting horse. . .and my boot got stuck in the stirrup and i saw the reigns bouncing in front of me and I wrapped my hand around the reigns and became one with the horse. I pulled myself up and laid down on the horse. . .who then dropped its head and wiped me off on a branch. I am only lucky I hit the branch as hard as I did because it knocked my foot loose from the stirrup... but where i had the reigns wrapped around my hand. . . broke that little favorite finger of mine. . . and since then it taught me not to play favorites .. .or you may lose them.

i feel this way about cancer. . I fear that I hate it so much and that it upsets me so much that perhaps i am even more susceptible.

Depending on the type of cancer it could be. .. and all the things I have seen. . . I think that there is a good chance I wouldnt fight it. . . but I would take all my money. . .and if I were broke id take a loan and id go on one big long vacation until i couldnt go anymore. Rather then spend 400,000 dollars going through chemo and radiation and stomach tubes and laryngectomees and resections and poison and dissappointment. . . rather than fighting the good fight i would perhaps take the money and run.

perhaps i would think differently if i were truly in that situation. . . but I do hope for my own good. . .that i never half to make such decisions.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008


I have to say folks I am spinning in deluxe energy left over from the ghost rhythms of insanity, minimal techno, some hot ass dubstep and some crazy breakcore. The party of the party has been found**

To all my dear ones that have yet to make it to Mutek please put it in your priorities for next year because I saw each and everyone of you there rocking out in my head. YOU WOULD ALL GO BONKERS. from Modeselektor to Nôze, knifehandchop to half hawaii to flying lotus. . .to kode 9 and space ape deeming my friend a "Soldieress" to music panels on copyright law and creativity. . this was a full 4 days of music education and frenzy. Dancing in the park in the rain on the river across from downtown, dancing in crazy megaclubs with an onslaught of bass taking over your body, moving despite lack of sleep and exhaustion because, yes, it is just that good.

I encourage each and everyone one of you to at least check out Mutek and if so inclined send in submissions for music and visuals for next year. I will say that while their music was hot hot hot the live visual piece could use some remodeling. When I look through still pictures the visuals look like they were amazing. . . but in real time a lot of the images were repeated and visually became stale. Well. . .except for modeselektor cause they brought their own visuals guy.

Go rock out and love you all and see you soon*


Miss Firefly 2007
Miss Black Rock City 2007
Miss Everything to Infinity