Friday, August 22, 2008

Death beds

I often meet people on their deathbeds. Some are clear as a summer day, some are hallucinating and pulling at every hair on their body, and some yet are lethargic and gurgling their own secretions. Its still important that i am there. Somtimes it is to educate the family, the patient, the doctor, or the nurse. Sometimes it is time for me to say that it is not safe for them to eat by mouth any more.

I have had quite the variety of patients in my past 4 years of working strictly in hospitals. I have had to deliver a lot of difficult news. But sometimes. . . I am the person that brings them that little bit of hope, or understanding, or ability that they need.

One patient that I remember dearly that had extensive cancer taking over his body was so excited that he found out I was Miss Black City 2007. His friend that was visiting was apparently Miss Black Rock City at another point and time and there my friend sat. . beaming up at the both of us, holding our hands, exclaiming that he is sitting BETWEEN TWO CHAMPIONS!!! He was glowing, he was smiling, he was laughing. It was a beautiful moment for him. He was so genuinely pleased.

Sometimes people just need to understand the "why." Sometimes understanding why medical personal are recommending a, b, or c. . . or specifically why I am the bad guy telling you, you cant have any regular liquids. . . sometimes "why" makes all the difference.

It is so important to honestly educate your patients, your staff, your families. It is so important to not get discouraged, frustrated, or angry with multiple egos fighting over what should be done for the pt . . . what would be best. There is so much short-sightedness. . so much ignorance. . . so much ego. I strive really hard to be above that. To not just get ragingly pissed off when doctors are purposely sabotaging my patients. . . and for the most part. . . i work it out. . . but when i cant i have found solace in knowing that I can only do what I can do.

If we spend each day trying to do our best, genuinely trying to do your best. . while being honest at the same time. . . good things will move forward.

-=ali*

No comments: